Duke Nukem goes to see Deadpool 2
by MelonBreadDemon
Summary: Duke Nukem wins a ticket to see the hit movie, Deadpool 2!


Duke Nukem was at home at his computr playing Doki DOki LITerature Clubb, going the down the Natsuki route in Act 1. Duke said "haha, Natsuki bake cuppy cake for festival and cuppy cake remind me of shrek becauze shrek has layers like how sum cuppy cakes haves layers of chockwat!". As duk played DokiDOki, he had a craving for beanz, blak beans to be exact. Duke said "I'm craving sum beens", as duk walked into the kiiichen he tripped on a the banannana peel from when he had a banana for brekfest. "WHOOOOOAAAHHHHH!" duk screamed as he tripped and caused the shelf to drop his cans of beanz. One kan hit duk and he screamed "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!". Duk them spit out one of his famus one-liners: "Cum is stored in the brain, and I've got a headache.". As Duke got up covered in bean juice he noticed one of the canz had some sort of paper inside with the beans. Duke picked it up and sucked the bean juice off of it and threw it in the dryer. Onced the paper dried he read and said "I wonder what dis could be?!" Duke unfolded the paper and noticed it was a ticket to a movi called "Deadpool 2". Duke said "dedpul 2?!, ain't that the new movie with the spiderman who tell them funny jokes?!". Duke then knew he was going to go watch a movie, but first Duke had to take a bath from all the been juice soaked in his clothes.

"Rubby dubby dub!" Duk nukum said as he ran into the bath tubb with his glossy been juice soaked cheeks he stopped and said "Wait duk forgot something!". Duk then ran to his room to grab his favorite waifu pillow of Natsooki from DOKIDOKILiTeraTure Club, his favorite doki. Duk then said "imma lay the smack dab on ur ass". Duke then hopped into the tub whispering to the pillow as he kept thrusting "shak it bby" with his muscular arms gripped to the pillow. Duk gave it all he got for since his luv for Natsooki was more than his love for any other wumen, giving it smooches while he was cleaning himself with his favorit bodywush, Oldspice. Duk then screamed: "so help me duk" as he busted the fattest nut on his natsuki body pillow. "lookz like cleanup on aisle 4" has he saw his baby batter all on his tub. Duk then took a nap in the tub with his squeeky clean body laying in the tub, flexing his gorgeous pecks as he snored.

Duks phone that notified him loudly about the movie starting in a hour. Duke said "Oh shit, I better go get dressed now so I can make it to the movies!. Duk then but on an old g-string he found on his couch from one of the many women he would giv the sex to every night, you know, with his fat balls, fat fucking balls of steel, his big fat nuts. Duk then but it on along with his usual attire and headed off to tha movies with a and made sure to bring a can of beans with him since he knew he would go hungry during the moovie. Duk took another snack with him 2, a slice of happy's pizza safely secure in between his pecks.

As Duk gave the tiket persun his ticket and also grabbed a soda, it was sum dr pepper since Duk likes Dr. Peppur. Duk then took a seat in row 3 seat 12. Duk noticed he was sitting next to shrek. Shrek noticed the pizza stain on duk's shirt and said: "Laddeh, that cringe...". Duk then said "lets rock!" as he devoured the slice of happy's pizza during the previews in the theatre. Shrek then took a photo, and said "Yep, this one's going in my cringe compilation.". The movie than began to play, it began with Deadpool walking up to the center of the screen and say "Hey audience i'm in a movie" while he pulled his pants down spreading his ass. Deadpool then said "This is my ass, do you know what comes out of it, shit, shit comes out of my ass when I start SHIDDING AND FARTING!""". Duk than bursted in to laughter: "haha, poopie come out of his butt!". Duk laugh so hard that he gargled the beans he was eating. Shrek noticed this and said: "LADDEHS, DUKE IS EATING BEANS IN THE THEATHRE!". The crowd then charged at duk. Duk said "its down to you and me moviegoers.".

Duk then grabbed his freeze ray and frozed the moviegoers and shot a rocket at shrek. the moviegoers were all icecubes while shrek tanked the rocket but was badly injured, shrek said: "Laddeh, I don't feel so good" as he faded away into duk's can of beans. Duk then grabbed all the ice cubes and put them into his doctor pepur, voring them in the process...

After the movie, Duk went home and ate some pop tarts and watched itadaki sieki and said "haha, vampire reminds duk of wumen i do the sex with!" Duk then brushed his teeth and went to bed to start the next day refreshed.


End file.
